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by sparrowflight002



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Between Barn Mates and Beta, Cause y'all know SOMETHING happened between those episodes, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, a bit of angst, just a healthy dose tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-18 23:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22968184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrowflight002/pseuds/sparrowflight002
Summary: It's been a week since Lapis Lazuli moved into the barn, but Peridot doesn't think she's adjusting well to life on Earth. Is something still holding Lapis back?
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





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**Author's Note:**

> As a newly inaugurated Steven Universe fangirl, I could not help but write a fic that forced its way into my heart throughout the series XD 
> 
> And I hope I'm not the only one that saw Beta and wondered "What the hell happened while we were gone??"
> 
> So, after careful analysis and research on Barn Mates and Beta (aka I watched them again and maybe took, like, 2 notes) I have decided to offer a possible scenario to the thriving Lapidot community that has already given me *sniff* so much XD
> 
> Without further ado, hope you enjoy! :)

“It’s the Colour War, Paulette. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Peridot quoted, mimicking the television with a practiced ease. There were so many episodes she could have chosen, but this one still held a special place in her heart, and she was feeling… sentimental. Yet, as much as she tried to concentrate on the episode in front of her, her eyes kept being dragged down to an unilluminated corner at the bottom of the barn. Occasionally, the glow from the tv would reach down, revealing the dreary corner of the barn Lapis now called home. She sat with her knees to her chest, gazing listlessly at nothing, eyebrows slightly creased as she processed her thoughts. _I just can’t understand her!_ Peridot grumbled, watching as Lapis picked up and examined a twig on the floor. It had been just over a week since Lapis Lazuli had officially moved into the barn. Peridot had been so excited to show her the countryside, explain how the organic life forms function, maybe even have someone to watch Camp Pining Hearts with. Sure, things had been rocky at first, but she genuinely thought Lapis was coming around after saving her from the Ruby ship. Instead, Lapis just went and hid away in that corner.

 _You know what? That’s it._ Peridot decided, pausing her show and mustering up the courage to face Lapis. _She can’t keep isolating herself like this. If she won’t try to open up, I’ll put in the effort instead!_ In a couple of smooth motions, Peridot leaped down from the balcony and onto the rough wooden floor of the barn.

“Hey Lazuli!” she exclaimed, nonchalantly moving to sit down beside her. Lapis stared in surprise for a couple moments, before quickly scooching a couple feet away and resuming her distant personality. Peridot frowned in disappointment but attempted to continue the conversation. “So, how are you liking the barn?” No response. “I know it can be hard to get used to, but you seem to be fitting right in…to the corner, at least.” She paused in anticipation of a laugh, but Lapis only leaned further against the wall. Slightly embarrassed, Peridot chuckled at her own joke instead. “You get it? Cause… you know, you haven’t left that corner in… a couple of days?” This was getting more awkward every second, she needed to change the subject before Lapis officially decided never to talk to her again. “Um, and while that seems fun... maybe you could come up to the balcony and watch a couple episodes of Pining Hearts with me? You don’t _have_ to watch it if you don’t want to… but you could see even more stars from up there! And I’ll be there too, so you’ll have someone to watch them with!” Lapis didn’t immediately answer, and Peridot blushed in embarrassment as she realized she probably ranted about it for too long. “I… just thought I’d ask.”

“No thanks,” Lapis simply responded, turning to face Peridot with barely a hint of emotion before standing up, brushing off her dress, and walking towards a different corner of the barn. But Peridot wasn’t going to let her run from her problems like that.

“Lapis, just tell me what’s wrong!” Peridot exclaimed, fists clenching in frustration, “I WANT to help you, but you need to let me in!”

“No! I-I’m fine,” Lapis exclaimed defensively, before taking a moment to settle herself, “I just…need more time.” She sighed and looked to the floor as though trying to hide in plain sight. “It’s sweet that you want to help me, but…there’s nothing you can do about this.”

“You don’t know that, Lapis. You can’t know until you tell me what it is.”

“YES. I DO.” Lapis yelled, spinning back towards Peridot with defensive anger shining in her eyes. Peridot flinched in surprise, and Lapis immediately drew back, horrified at the outburst. They both stood there in silence for a few seconds before Lapis chanced a sound. “I-I’m sorry” she muttered, guilt obvious in her voice despite not making eye contact. Before Peridot even had a chance to respond, Lapis was in the air and out of the barn.

“Wait, Lazuli!” She yelled after her, running into the dark to try and keep up. Without the light from the tv, it was nearly impossible to see, and it wasn’t long until Peridot had not only lost track of Lapis, but nearly lost her own location as well. _Where could she have gone?_ Thought Peridot, _she wouldn’t have left for good, would she?_

“LAZULI!” Peridot yelled into the dark, hoping that Lapis was still close enough to hear her. The realization that she could be alone now began to dawn on her, and the darkness of her surroundings seemed to encroach slowly, threatening to cut her off from Lapis, from everyone. Peridot hadn’t realized how accustomed she had become to having someone else in the barn, someone to share her ideas and talk about her problems with, even if Lapis hadn’t returned nearly the same enthusiasm. The thought of being truly alone for _stars know_ how long terrified her. “LAZULI!” she yelled again, voice shaking as she continued to run forward in desperation.

“…hey.” A voice. From above. Peridot looked up from the darkness in surprise, squinting at the silver light that shone into her eyes. The pale moonlight reflected off a curved metal object high above Peridot’s head, turning it silver in an otherwise pitch-black world. Atop its surface lay Lapis’ faint silhouette, gazing up as though to stare at the stars. 

The silo. She was on top of the silo. With Lapis in view and having a much more solid grasp on where she was, Peridot took a moment to breath and calm herself down. _She hasn’t left yet,_ she comforted herself, _you’ve still got a chance._ Peridot swiftly tried to climb the ladder leading up to the top but realized quickly that thin metal bars were more precarious than she originally anticipated. It took her a couple minutes and a few close calls to make it up onto the shiny silver roof.

For a moment, Peridot couldn’t move. Lapis lay bathed in the reflective moonlight, eyes shining like all the stars in the universe could be found within their depths. They reflected the night sky with a longing so raw and visceral that Peridot couldn’t help but remember her first days stranded on Earth. The loneliness, the unfamiliarity of it all. Sometimes frightening, sometimes beautiful, but always strange. Emotion began to well up inside her as she finally took a seat beside Lapis, being careful not to slip off the steep edge of the silo. Peridot still vividly remembered those days of uncertainty and fear, but she had been through her journey already. She had gotten through those hard times with the help of Steven and the other Crystal Gems, but Lapis didn’t have anyone else she could trust right now. It finally dawned on her just what Lapis needed. Hesitantly, Peridot reached out and placed her hand gently on top of Lapis'.

Lapis barely reacted, eyes still trained on the night sky, but slowly, the galaxy in her eyes began to shift and pool, sending silver stands down the sides of her cheeks as she finally let herself cry. There was an anger in those tears, undirected but to some unknowable fate that caused things to end up this way. She yelled at the universe, poured out every bit of feeling she had at the darkened sky, until there were no other sounds in the nearby countryside except the agony in her voice and the tapping of her own tears against the metal of the silo. Peridot could feel herself beginning to tear up as well, but promptly wiped the them away with her free hand. The important thing right now was to be there for Lapis.

After a while, Lapis had almost stopped crying, her face flushed blue and taking short, hiccupy breaths. Peridot had taken to laying beside her, her hand still resting dependably over Lapis’, her thoughts filled with her own nostalgia.

“You can see Homeworld’s galaxy from here.” Peridot suddenly said, bringing Lapis’ attention back to the wreath of stars surrounding them. A few moments of silence passed between them as Lapis found the brightest light on the horizon.

“…You’re right.” She responded, voice still shaky from the earlier ordeal.

“I always thought…” Peridot stretched her arm up to the sky, spreading her fingers out so her reach would be just a couple centimetres longer, “it’s almost like you could reach out and touch it. Just a little farther and you could go back to the life you had, where everything made sense and was normal and predictable.” Lapis turned her head to look at Peridot, sympathy shining from her eyes.

“That…isn’t true, though.” Lapis offered, noticing the sky was now a dark shade of blue, “I knew that the moment I got back to Homeworld. Things can’t ever go back to the way they were. Even on Earth, I…” she trailed off, looking away from Peridot again. “This place was a prison to me for _so long._ I held so much anger, so much resentment for this planet, but Steven made me feel like maybe things were different. I’ve been trying to settle in, to find a home here somehow, but no matter how hard I try I can’t see this place as anything but the world that took me prisoner. It’s time I faced the truth.” Lapis took a shaky breath, tears forming in her eyes again. “I don’t have a home anymore.”

“YES YOU DO!” Peridot yelled, startling them both a little bit, but she couldn’t stand to hear Lapis talk like that. Her own feelings confused her, but Peridot knew one thing for sure. Even though she had barely been there a week, even though she had barely interacted with Peridot at all, Lapis was important to her. Lapis shouldn’t have to feel like no one in the universe was there for her, like there was nowhere she belonged. Because that wasn’t true anymore. No matter what happened, there would always be somewhere Lapis could feel welcome, she’d make sure of that. “I-I mean, I…still think you have a home here.” A blush formed on her cheeks and she fought the urge to look away. “If you can’t feel at home on this planet yet, let’s try something a little more manageable. Could you feel at home in the barn? Could you…feel at home with me?”

Peridot sat there in nervous silence, looking straight ahead at the horizon as it began to turn shades of purple and pink. After a few minutes, Peridot was about to nervously take her words back when she felt a gentle squeeze on the hand that had been laying overtop of Lapis’. Their fingers were now interlocked, and Peridot couldn’t help but wear a teary smile as the sun finally rose over the hills and the colours of the dawn began to fade. They chuckled a moment, and as they sat up to leave, Lapis turned to her and smiled more genuinely than Peridot had ever seen.

“Yeah, I guess I could give that a shot.”


End file.
